Turning 30

I remembered telling my buddy, Josiet that turning 30 should be something to rejoice at. A cause for celebration --- yeah okay, famous last words. In a few months, I will be staring at a cake with the 3-0 candles and most likely I’ll freak out and get depressed! LOL
Looking back at what I have done when I was in the province last month, I think a lot of my decisions were knee-jerk reactions to this momentous occasion.


First, there were the agri-business lessons I subjected my younger brother. I lectured him on the virtues of taking care of the lands that our parents have and to save enough money to get lands on our own--- kahit kakapirangot yan, mapapakinabangan! I think it’s my nesting or mothering instinct becoming more alive (what? LOL) I just want him to be able to look out for himself. Well, I did this too. I just nodded and nodded and belatedly I realized that my name is already on the deed certificate (technically, I still have to pay my mom fully for the total amount). I now own a parcel of agricultural land somewhere in Cantilan. I don’t even know where it is exactly but they say that it is a good investment as it will be “developed” in a few years coz its just behind the national high school area.

For almost a year now, I have also been “arranging” for a piece of real estate in Cebu City. I was not really that interested then but when I went there this time I suddenly had this urge to check the place myself, to see whether its already habitable. I started asking questions as to when the construction will be completed (well, I was told I can move in this December, how cool is that? Hehe) and then I started making some drawings of the interior layouts that I want for each room. I am now very excited about how it would turn out although yeah, I’ll be indebted for the next few years --- which is a daunting thought, to say the least.
I think becoming 30 is really a huge milestone for a woman. Not just the ticking of the biological clock, though the hints are becoming louder now. LOL! It’s like you suddenly arrive at a crossroad where maturity and youth struggles against the dominance of the other. Your heart wants to choose the latter but your mind dictates that you choose the former. I have started to ask a lot of questions about the direction of my personal life, my finances, my career, etc. I started to get scared of what this turning point will mean in my life.

I don’t really have a well-organized life. I am very blasé about everything. If I want to travel, I save up to go there. If I don’t have money, then it’s nary a dollar to my name. I only have myself to answer to, to feed, to clothe. But now, I felt different. That in a few months time, my life will change.


I think this is just my neuroses talking!